[Your Name] Coaching

A self-assessment for women in midlife

Am I broken?

If your desire — for sex, for pleasure, for wanting things at all — has gone quiet, this assessment is for you. Ten questions. No wrong answers. A personal profile that explains what's actually happening and what to do about it.

This is not a clinical tool. It is a mirror. Answer what's most true, most of the time. There is no broken result.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 1 of 10

How often do you feel genuinely present in your body — not managing it, not critical of it, just in it?

Body presence is not a luxury. It is the foundation of desire.

Rarely. I'm mostly in my head or on autopilot.

Sometimes, usually when I force it — a workout, a bath.

It depends on stress. When life is calmer, I'm more present.

More often than not — I have moments of genuine body presence.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 2 of 10

When someone touches you — your partner, a hug, even a hand on your shoulder — what's your first internal response?

A body that braces for demand has learned that touch means taking. That's not broken. That's conditioned.

A subtle brace — 'what do they want from me?'

Neutral. I notice it but don't feel much either way.

It depends entirely on my mood and energy level.

Generally warm — I like physical connection.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 3 of 10

How would you describe your relationship with pleasure — not just sexual, but any kind of pleasure?

Sensory blunting across the board — food, music, touch, joy — is the nervous system's volume dial, turned down.

Muted. Things that used to feel good don't land the same way.

I feel pleasure in bursts, but it disappears quickly.

I can access pleasure but I feel guilty or distracted by it.

Pleasure is available to me — I just don't always prioritize it.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 4 of 10

By the end of a typical day, how much of yourself feels like it's been given away to other people or responsibilities?

Chronic giving without replenishment isn't virtue. It's depletion — and desire is one of the first things it takes.

Almost all of it. There is nothing left.

Most of it. A little is still mine but not much.

About half. I've gotten better at protecting some for myself.

I manage to keep a meaningful amount for myself.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 5 of 10

When did you last want something purely for yourself — not practical, not for anyone else's benefit, just because you wanted it?

Desire lives in 'wanting for yourself.' If that feels unfamiliar, it has been trained out, not lost.

I genuinely can't remember.

A while ago. I've noticed I've stopped asking myself what I want.

Recently, though I often talked myself out of it or felt guilty.

I have a sense of what I want and occasionally go after it.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 6 of 10

Desire lives in 'wanting for yourself.' If that feels unfamiliar, it has been trained out, not lost.

Responsive desire (needs a spark) is not a downgrade from spontaneous desire. It is a different — and very common — operating system.

It used to arrive on its own. Now it doesn't show up at all.

It needs a spark, but even when the spark is there I don't always respond.

It needs conditions — the right context, energy, safety.

It's unpredictable — sometimes spontaneous, sometimes I need prompting.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 7 of 10

How easy is it for you to receive — a compliment, care, someone doing something for you — without deflecting or immediately giving something back?

A body trained to give finds receiving uncomfortable, even threatening. Desire requires the capacity to receive.

Very hard. I deflect almost automatically.

Uncomfortable. I receive it but feel I have to earn it or reciprocate quickly.

I'm working on it. I can receive but it takes real effort.

Mostly comfortable. I can let kindness land.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 8 of 10

When you think about physical intimacy, what feeling arises first?

Dread, pressure, obligation — these are not signs you don't love your partner. They are signs the conditions are not right.

Dread or pressure — 'here we go again.

Nothing much — a kind of blankness or disconnection.

Complicated — sometimes I want it, often I feel guilty that I don't.

Warm but conditional — I want it when I'm not exhausted.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 9 of 10

How would you describe your overall energy for life right now — not just physically, but your aliveness?

Desire is not a sex drive. It is the life drive. When aliveness dims, desire dims with it.

Low. I'm going through the motions a lot of the time.

Inconsistent — I have good days but they don't feel like mine.

I have pockets of aliveness but have to work to find them.

Reasonably alive — not always vibrant, but present.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 10 of 10

What do you most believe is true about your desire right now?

What you believe about your desire shapes what you are willing to look for.

It's gone. I've accepted that this is just who I am now.

It's in there somewhere but I can't access it.

It's buried under everything I'm carrying.

It needs the right conditions — and I haven't created them yet.

[Your Name] Coaching

Almost there

Where should we send your results?

Your personal profile — including what your answers reveal and your specific invitation forward — will be sent directly to your inbox. You'll also see it here on screen.

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No spam, ever. Your results, occasional insights, and that's it. You can unsubscribe anytime.

[Your Name] Coaching

Your results are on their way to your inbox, test. Check your email in the next few minutes.

You are: The Responsive Desirer

Your desire hasn't disappeared — it's changed operating systems. You've shifted from spontaneous desire (it arrives uninvited) to responsive desire (it needs a context, a spark, the right conditions). This is not a downgrade. It's the most common experience of desire in midlife. The problem is you've been waiting for the old system to come back and calling the silence broken.

What this looks like for you

You want to want — the impulse is there but it needs an on-ramp
Desire arrives once you're in it, rarely before
The conditions matter enormously — safety, rest, not feeling like a task
You can access aliveness in the right circumstances

Your invitation

Stop waiting for desire to arrive. Start building the conditions for it. Ask yourself: what would need to be true for me to feel safe, present, and curious? That question is your desire blueprint.

You also show strong signs of: The Depleted Giver
You understand your desire system well. The primary obstacle is resource — rest, space, and something left for yourself at the end of the day.

[Your Name] Coaching

A self-assessment for women in midlife

Am I broken?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 1 of 10

How often do you feel genuinely present in your body — not managing it, not critical of it, just in it?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 2 of 10

When someone touches you — your partner, a hug, even a hand on your shoulder — what's your first internal response?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 3 of 10

How would you describe your relationship with pleasure — not just sexual, but any kind of pleasure?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 4 of 10

By the end of a typical day, how much of yourself feels like it's been given away to other people or responsibilities?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 5 of 10

When did you last want something purely for yourself — not practical, not for anyone else's benefit, just because you wanted it?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 6 of 10

Desire lives in 'wanting for yourself.' If that feels unfamiliar, it has been trained out, not lost.

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 7 of 10

How easy is it for you to receive — a compliment, care, someone doing something for you — without deflecting or immediately giving something back?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 8 of 10

When you think about physical intimacy, what feeling arises first?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 9 of 10

How would you describe your overall energy for life right now — not just physically, but your aliveness?

[Your Name] Coaching

Question 10 of 10

What do you most believe is true about your desire right now?

[Your Name] Coaching

Almost there

Where should we send your results?

[Your Name] Coaching

Your results are on their way to your inbox, test. Check your email in the next few minutes.

You are: The Responsive Desirer

Your invitation

You also show strong signs of: The Depleted GiverYou understand your desire system well. The primary obstacle is resource — rest, space, and something left for yourself at the end of the day.

You also show strong signs of: The Depleted Giver
You understand your desire system well. The primary obstacle is resource — rest, space, and something left for yourself at the end of the day.